Three Angry People
I saw three very angry exchanges. A man walking across the street, shirt-less, belly drooping, and looking very much like a 60-year-old Bart Simpson. As he crossed the street, a car entered the crosswalk almost hitting him. Turning quickly, the man jumped and shouted towards the driver, “you f***b***, watch where you’re going, you should get a ticket for that, goddamn it.” I'm across the street thinking to myself that if anyone needed a ticket…it’s this guy. A ticket for indecency, rudeness, and being a complete asshole. Fortunately, the lady driving paid him little attention. She drove and continued on with her way.
How many times have you had to deal with someone like that? A customer who was unhappy because of a poor delivery. A colleague who was annoyed because you got the promotion. Someone who’s irritated because you were five minutes late. There are endless examples about how we lose our temper. It's easy to get rattled or offended when confronted with an angry person. And, if you don't know how to respond, the situation can easily spiral out of control. However, when you respond calmly and with empathy, you can stay in control and defuse the situation.
Twenty minutes later, a driver shouts at another driver, “you f***ing son of a b***, grow up, you’re an a***.” This exchange happened so quickly the other driver was caught off guard and had very little time to respond. A spectator across the street started laughing his ass off. “What the fuck,” he says to himself and continues walking.
A few days later, I stopped to park my car next to a bookstore. I had just left from work and was going to a restaurant to get a quick bite. I’m closing the front door of my car, using the electronic key. A man across the street yells at a passing driver, “f*** you.” He unfortunately made a mistake thinking the driver had blown his horn at him, not realizing that it was me turning my car alarm on. I turned to acknowledge him. “That was me locking my car,” I said. He laughed, somewhat embarrassingly, then said. “Well, if I don't feel like an idiot.” And walked away.
A few days later, I stopped to park my car next to a bookstore. I had just left from work and was going to a restaurant to get a quick bite. I’m closing the front door of my car, using the electronic key. A man across the street yells at a passing driver, “f*** you.” He unfortunately made a mistake thinking the driver had blown his horn at him, not realizing that it was me turning my car alarm on. I turned to acknowledge him. “That was me locking my car,” I said. He laughed, somewhat embarrassingly, then said. “Well, if I don't feel like an idiot.” And walked away.
Often, anger serves no purpose. Coming to that realization is a game changer.
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