Adulthood: Illusion of Control

Adulthood brings the pernicious illusion of control
The mirage of dominion over one’s own life
That allows us to feel like adults
We associate this maturity with autonomy
The sovereign right to determine what is going to happen to us
 
Disillusionment comes sooner or later
It always comes
It doesn't miss an appointment; It never has
And when it arrives
We receive it without too much surprise
 
No one who has lived long enough is surprised to find 
That their biography has been molded by distant events
By other people's wills
With little or no participation from our own decisions
 
There is a chain of circumstances that awaits around the corner
And even though we know it
And are certain that those things are happening
There’s no way we can anticipate them
 
Struggling against its effects is all we can do
Nevertheless, it's always somewhat dreadful
When someone reveals to us
The chain that has turned us into who we are
 
It's always disconcerting to discover
When it's another person who brings us the revelation
The complete lack of control
We have over our own experience

“The Sound of Things Falling” by Juan Gabriel Vasquez is a wonderfully written book about crucial events during the Pablo Escobar era. The last chapter contains two beautifully written pages on the illusion of control. I used those pages to transform the author’s words into a poem. If you are looking for the full effects of his words, read the book.