Adulthood: Illusion of Control

Adulthood brings the pernicious illusion of control

The mirage of dominion over one’s own life

That allows us to feel like adults

We associate this maturity with autonomy

The sovereign right to determine what is going to happen to us

 

Disillusionment comes sooner or later

It always comes

It doesn't miss an appointment; It never has

And when it arrives

We receive it without too much surprise

 

No one who has lived long enough is surprised to find 

That their biography has been molded by distant events

By other people's wills

With little or no participation from our own decisions

 

There is a chain of circumstances that awaits around the corner

And even though we know it

And are certain that those things are happening

There’s no way we can anticipate them

 

Struggling against its effects is all we can do

Nevertheless, it's always somewhat dreadful

When someone reveals to us

The chain that has turned us into who we are

 

It's always disconcerting to discover

When it's another person who brings us the revelation

The complete lack of control

We have over our own experience

“The Sound of Things Falling” by Juan Gabriel Vasquez is a wonderfully written book about crucial events during the Pablo Escobar era. The last chapter contains two beautifully written pages on the illusion of control. I used those pages to transform the author’s words into a poem. If you are looking for the full effects of his words, read the book.